deathwingstolemyepicz:

do you want to cuddle and play video games all night?

a) yes
b) a
c) b

vann-haal:

beben-eleben:

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, 

“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”

She responds, “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”

well this took an unexpected turn

anxiousbagel:

emotionally manipulative things you should never say to people:

  • "i would kill myself without you"
  • "everyone leaves me, don’t leave me like they did"
  • basically anything that guilts the other person into staying in a relationship with you

shewalkedinbeauty:

So often only one of these ladies are in those group portraits. So I’m in love with this.